Archive for the 'scarcity and fear' Category
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i [...]
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together we stole from the ocean thirteen elephants who didn’t belong there. we tied them to huge trees and set them on fire and watched them react without pain but rather the biting of their own trunks. we smiled like how we thought an elephant might smile and then we walked away to catch a [...]
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sometimes my right shoulder hurts really bad
sometimes i wake up at 11am and don’t eat until 2pm
sometimes i wake up at 11am and don’t get out of bed until 2pm
sometimes i think about how life would be better if i had a sister
sometimes i think about how life would be better if i didn’t grow [...]
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headphones. macbook. twine. external hard drive. plastic bags. door hinges. curtains. eyeglasses. moroccan sheep skin lamp. knitting needles. extension cord. picture frame. led zeppelin 10 cd box set. push pins. bubble wrap. tape measure. jewelry box. yoga mat.
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“portraits of the insane”
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i regret everything that happened there. every word spoken, every action taken. everything. it was a big sloppy, expensive, regrettable mess.
now lets have some yogurt!
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i love what’s happening.
a ripe kind of madness.
all plump with the right amount of drama and sedation.
don’t call the doctors.
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false instruments
not settling, not compromising any values, not taking whatever i can get because of its convenience.
plain and boring, contemplating the unfamiliarity of the future, of the present, becoming more and more voluntarily detached from the past, all pasts, not just mine, but yours too.
bearing, enduring, solidify, strengthening, hardening, simplifying
out of control, unresistant, in unison with [...]
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i’m in love with a physicist
he doesn’t exist,
because i’m delusional,
exactly how i want to be,
living in a dreamworld,
fantasy,
like fruit picked from a tree,
i can pluck from any imaginary world i want,
i want a physicist,
he’s got a research job,
he makes a lot of money,
he pays the rent,
because i write and make art,
i don’t make money,
he drinks whiskey,
he doesn’t drink whiskey,
not a [...]
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i wish my family was strong enough to walk away and turn our backs on this christmas holiday. we don’t gather for god, gifts, or family. what are we doing? we’d feel the relief that we’re all yearning for if we just stopped and opened ourselves up into our own paths. a path of familiar [...]
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residue
when will i peel away all the costumes
and what will i find: puppeteer? farmer? astrophysicists? lover of trapeze?
i’ve been bending for a while towards the language but as if i haven’t
passed through it completely. when does this light bend again?
or can i rely on the archaic fluids of opportunity to open me into halves…
two members [...]
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institutions
a week ago i ripped up and completely destroyed the paper copies of almost everything i’ve ever written. last night i destroyed all of the remaining computer files.
i did it. i kept only six pieces of writing. 6.
i don’t miss any of it. i was glad to see it go.
kinda like taking off an eskimo [...]
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low on fish oil tablets, have three large bottles of chewable vitamin C in the house, got money back from the federal government, toes got numb multiple times, starting to believe i have bad circulation in my legs, found out on the internet that if you want to get a cake from charm city cakes [...]
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and, yes, the dreamy idealist
Dreamy Idealist (DI)
Dreamy Idealists are very cautious and therefore often appear shy and reserved to others. They share their rich emotional life and their passionate convictions with very few people. But one would be very much mistaken to judge them to be cool and reserved. They have a pronounced inner system of values and [...]
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my magical personality
Your Q Score is: 22
The Q score ideally should be as small as possible, indicating maximum agreement among elements. However, even a tiny Q score may not mean optimal functioning, since all four elements may in fact be relatively undeveloped.
Your Primary Mythical Creature
Water Types
The main strength of the Water types is feeling. The second element [...]
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this world is an illusion
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i can only smell it, humanity
it must have something to do with support or lack of support or because the number of black spots on the walls of my blood-pumping heart is growing rapidly. small heart attacks. i’m healthy. i’ve been eating well. i take care of myself as much as i can. but every time i trip up, slip [...]
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your famous tortoise
whoa, is that a helicopter. no an elephant.
such simple mistakes i’ve been making. planting hard boiled eggs in soil. drawing blood with spaghetti. cuddling with the bones at the graveyard. kissing hot coals. polishing hay. sitting on lit candles. scooping out the center of teeth. vaccinating the immune.
have you learned from poetry and the poets. [...]
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grayscale
i’ve been 24 for two weeks.
last night while sleeping i was the main character in a plotless black and white movie.
i slept for 5 hours.
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exercise in negative capability
milk before killing, milk before eating (with the patience required for screwing in a light bulb)
There’s room for meat
and mars this time of year is burnt skin.
They peel it.
When i reach the telephone booth please have my horse ready. He’s been gnawing on the number nine. The last cloud of hay didn’t come [...]
Filed under: a questioning, curious, holograms, knives, moss child, scarcity and fear, the most civil, weeping willow | 3 Comments
on the parody of control
sheep/
clavicle
northern/
each year…
each moment…
embarrassing(
if not to keep my mouth closed
and the body postured stiff)
today and only today, i want to hear a deep voice,
particular,
miss everything
i imagined,
every delusional
plumage reaching out to me.
bee/
apostrophe/
formal boss.
however
cream/
proof–
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i want to leave behind a manuscript, an important one because in this moment, and many moments preceding this one, i feel capable. after it is written i will go (leave the body) as i am here for few reasons, possibly just this one: to be written down in the books and set forth eternal. [...]
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